dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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