It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
tell me about the eggs
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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