Pappa wants mamma naked
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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