Define "chronic" masturbator.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
