i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
