You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
