I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
