I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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