a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
