Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
