Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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