I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
