So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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