all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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