I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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