I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
