this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
