We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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