His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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