Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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