Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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