How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
