Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Acid is not a monday night drug
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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