They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Is Oprah even human
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
