But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
