you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
