i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
At least life still wants to fuck me.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
