I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
