Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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