he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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