Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
