Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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