READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
