Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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