Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize