I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
