I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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