He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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