No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
