maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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