I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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