She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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