i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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