just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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