Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just want to make out with him forever
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
