Yo dont text me then not text me
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
