Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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