I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
