I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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