Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
