There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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