? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
